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Always Have Fun
Be Genuine
Courage Means Fighting
the Fear
As the weather warms, so too do our hearts and libidos.
Many singles find themselves wanting a little romance to wile
away the long summer nights.
With the right attitude, dating can be a lot easier than it looks.
Dating isn't rocket science, and counter to what the authors of
various dating books want us to believe, dating isn't a game of
deceit and manipulation.
Dating is simply an opportunity to go out and play with someone
new. It doesn’t have to raise our blood pressure or lower
our self-esteem. It won’t make or break us.
There is no standard of perfection upon which to measure our meager
efforts. While we can certainly keep our eyes on the prize…
a meaningful romantic relationship……dating shouldn’t
become an intellectualized effort to conquer or prevail.
If we relax and let ourselves have a good time, dating can be
as easy as A-B-C. What follows is some old-fashioned
dating advice; something your mother might have whispered into
your ear right before a ninth grade dance. Read it once, but don’t
write it down or memorize it.
This is just a reminder that you learned your ABC’s many
years ago. You already know everything you need to know about
dating.
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Always Have Fun
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Unfortunately, dating has become an activity fraught with angst,
frustration and performance anxiety. We can be uptight, insecure,
and meticulously analyze every detail, expecting to find answers
in our heads, rather than in our hearts.
On a first date we worry about the impression we are making. Are
we tall enough? Thin enough? Young enough? Hip enough? Since our
self-assessments always seem to come up short we carefully steer
the email exchanges or face-to-face conversations in another direction,
hoping to cover up our numerous failings and inadequacies. This
misguided effort to control casual conversations ends up stifling
it.
As we strive to become the perfect date - the one with the right
job, the right wardrobe, a stunning intellectual prowess and stellar
conversational abilities - we lose some of the spontaneity, charm
and personality that is uniquely ours and we aren't much fun.
This is a step in the wrong direction because we are a better
date and are percieved to be our most attractive when we are laughing
and having a good time. And if we suppress who we are, then no
one will see us. We must be seen to be known and to be loved.
It is seldom our perfection, and more likely our humorous idiosyncrasies
and imperfections that kindle the fires of chemistry. So loosen
up and let yourself go.
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