Be
Genuine
.
. . . . . . . . . . .
We are all more impressive than we imagine, and few of us have to
exaggerate our personal histories in order to shine. In fact, these
efforts at embellishment can diminish us in the eyes of our romantic
counterparts. Remember that people tend to be attracted to those
with an intact sense of self. The quietly confident are perceived
to be intriguing, even sexy. So leave well enough alone. Don't inflate
your accomplishments or try to peddle a bill of goods to your date.
We will all save each other a lot of time and unnecessary angst
and ambiguity if we simply tell each other the truth. When we aren't
attracted to someone who would like to pursue a romantic relationship,
we should say so, privately and tactfully. Likewise, when we find
someone interesting, beautiful, funny or intriguing, we should let
that person know. Guessing games often have unhappy endings. Speak
up. Ships do pass in the night , sometimes never to pass that way
again. As we convey our interst in someone, we must do so in a non-demanding
manner.
It's unfair and manipulative to expect someone to reciprocate our
feelings. When dating, tailored honest is the best policy. This
means that the truth we tell should be delivered in a context that
is appropriate to the situation at hand. |
Here
are some guidelines
.
. . . . . . . . . . .
Lose the pickup lines. Even when they come from a genuine desire to flatter
someone, they are always obvious, are perceived as corny , and tend
to label you a "player."
Avoid excessive disclosure.
To tell the truth is important. To tell the whole truth, all at
once on a first date can be overwhelming. Introduce your life gradually,
over time.
Ask for what you want. Don't beat
around the bush or drop subtle hints. There is something very powerful
and sexy about someone who knows what they want, and is willing
to ask for it.
Respect your date's truth. If she
tells you she isn't ready for sexual intimacy, she isn't. If he
tells you he isn't looking for marriage, believe him.
Don't date someone you don't trust.
That relationship won't take you anywhere you need to go.
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